Whenever you start to feel a difficult emotion, David offers a two-step practice in order to deal with and manage them effectively.
First, try to find at least two other emotions that you can relate to. If your first thought is “I’m stressed,” what are the other two options that mimic how you are feeling at that moment? Remember to be specific and precise; that way you will be able to get to the root of what you are feeling rather than slapping on a giant “stress” label with no concrete way to deal with it.
Once you identify those underlying emotions, “You are no longer stuck, ‘I’m stressed,’” David says. “You’re ‘I’m exhausted so I need more levels of self-care. ‘ It’s very different from just “stressed out”. “
The next step in dealing with these emotions is to find out which values the emotion points to: “We tend not to have strong emotions about things that we don’t care about,” David says, and your difficult feelings can. shed light on what’s important to you. For example, if you are alone, do you aspire to social link? Do you miss deeply conversations with your partner?
David says you can even write the emotion down on a piece of paper, turn it over, and write down the values you think the emotion signals. Think of it as a roadmap for what your emotions are really trying to tell you. After all, every emotion, even the ones that make you uncomfortable, has a purpose.